Pie Expectations

I    Pie...

I’m just a simple girl who appreciates the finer things in life. And by “finer things”, I mean pie. And by “in life” I clearly mean, “in my belly.” Clearly I’m a humble New Yorker who has a deep love and appreciation for heavy cream, full fat batter, European chocolate and wonderful flaky crusts. Simple, right? Well, no. Not so much.

For, my dear friends, I have long since come to the conclusion that a good pie, like a good narrow shoe in extra extra long, is hard to find. Very hard. So very very very hard. Like for real folks, it’s darned difficult! Can a girl get a sassy shoe that fails to resemble an orthopedic barge?!?! But wait, I digress… Oh yes! Pie. Mmmmmm… pie.

So yeah, unbeknownst to my brain but so very knownst to my waistline, I began a search to find good pie. An innocent search that started with the simple goal of finding the best Key Lime Pie around that was not my own creation. Ever juice a lime? Ever try to get a cup of juice from many limes? Ugh, the horrors! The terrors of accidentally spilling that cup of juice all over the counter and having to either 1- go buy more key limes somewhere at whatever crazy time you might be baking or 2- use (shudder) lime juice in a bottle. Trust me, the pie suffers. If the pie suffers, you suffer. If I suffer, well, let’s just say that a good Key Lime Pie was a priority. It still is, many years, shops and pies later.

This search has sent me pounding the pavement in the Village, sweating my way through Key West , genteely strolling through Charleston SC , paying ridiculous tolls to get to Brooklyn from the Bronx , stalking farmer’s markets, reeking of bacon at a vegan bakery, you know, around. And why doth I subject my skinny jeans to this test? Because this gal and her 2x8’s for feet, need good pie, like other folks need - oh I don’t know something silly, like oxygen. And I believe good pie should be shared with my like minded pie, tart, cake, and general sweet loving brethren.

So I busted out my laptop, dusted off that corner of my brain that was vaguely awake the day I learned how to make spread sheets and got to rating pies from the fabulous to the funky for the sake of mankind. Because I’m generous like that! Truly, I am. The milk of human kindness here, or perhaps the buttermilk of human kindness runs through my veins.

That’s about it folks. Feel free to email me or hit me up on random social media that folks my age use – please, limit it to Facebook or Twitter!  I’d love to hear what you think of the pies here, where you like to get your Pie on and if you are just generally a fan of Pi. Yup, a bit of geekery to go along with your pie-ery.

And for those of you wondering about all the foot references, my little sister (who is also a pie-loving gal) got a hold of my laptop and enjoyed mocking my shoe size as if her feet are so much smaller. They ain’t folks! They certainly ain’t!

Happy Ingestion of Sweet Sweet Pies.